Sasha Pieterse is 27.  Alison, the blonde who faked her own death on “Pretty Little Liars”.  She was also the Ice Princess in “The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lava Girl”.

Ed Sheeran is 32.  “Shape of You“, “Perfect“, and “Thinking Out Loud“.

Bonnie Wright is 32.  Ginny Weasley in the “Harry Potter” movies.

Chord Overstreet is 34.  Trouty Mouth Sam on “Glee”.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt is 42.  He’s Arthur in “Inception”, Tommy Solomon on “3rd Rock from the Sun”, John Blake in “The Dark Knight Rises”, and Edward Snowden in “Snowden”.  He’s also Jiminy Cricket in last year’s “Pinocchio”.

Paris Hilton is 42.  She’s actually worth $300 million.  See?  She’s not “worthless.”

Jason Ritter is 43.  He’s the great John Ritter’s son.  ABC’s “Kevin (Probably) Saves the World”, Comedy Central’s “Another Period”, and Jeb Bush in “W”.

Rory Kinnear is 45.  Frankenstein’s monster John Clare on “Penny Dreadful”, and M’s Chief of Staff Bill Tanner in the Bond movies “Skyfall” and “Spectre”.

Jerry O’Connell is 49.  He starred in “Stand By Me”, “Jerry Maguire”, and “Kangaroo Jack”.  He’s married to Rebecca Romijn . . . who is worth $20 million.  Must be that John Stamos divorce-money.

Lucy Davis is 50.  Etta Candy in “Wonder Woman”, Dianne in “Shaun of the Dead”, and Dawn on the British version of “The Office”.

Billie Joe Armstrong is 51.  Green Day singer who became a lot easier to take seriously after he dropped that fake British accent.

Denise Richards is 52.  One of that very select group of special women who can proudly declare, “I married Charlie Sheen!”

Charlie Sheen is worth $10 million.  He used to make $1.25 million PER EPISODE of “Two and a Half Men”.  He might have squandered his fortune on hookers, blow, crack, and WINNING.

Dominic Purcell is 53.  Mick Rory on “DC’s Legends of Tomorrow”, but to ME he’ll always be Lincoln Burrows on “Prison Break”.

Michael Bay is 58.  “Transformers” director who would NEVER choose artistic direction over a GIANT EXPLOSION.  Or character development over a GIANT EXPLOSION.  Or anything in the world over a GIANT EXPLOSION.

Michael Jordan is 60 and worth $2.2 BILLION.  That’s BILLION . . . with a B.

Larry the Cable Guy is 60.

Stupid One-Liner:  Larry the Cable Guy turns 60 today.  For the record, he’s not really a “Larry,” and he’s not a cable guy, either.  Oh, and there’s another thing he’s not:  Funny.

Lou Diamond Phillips is 61.  He starred as rock and roll cholo Ritchie Valens in “La Bamba”, an old-school cholo in “Stand and Deliver”, and a cholo in space on “Stargate Universe”.  More recently he was Henry Standing Bear on “Longmire”.  He also played Lieutenant Arroyo on “Prodigal Son”.

Richard Karn is 67.  Tim Allen’s assistant, Al Borland, on “Home Improvement” . . . and one of the many former hosts of “Family Feud”.

Rene Russo is 69.

Jim Brown is 87.  Football Hall-of-Famer who played for the Cleveland Browns.  He is Slammer in “I’m Gonna Git You Sucka”, Fireball in “The Running Man”, and the mighty Byron Williams in “Mars Attacks”.

Hal Holbrook  (1925 – 2021)  Legendary actor.  His movies include “Magnum Force”, “All the President’s Men”, “Creepshow”, “The Firm” and way too many more to name.

Huey Newton  (1942 – 1989)  Founder of the Black Panther party.  It’s suspected that he didn’t fully trust white people.